Time and Dirt
(First Day -- Previous Day -- Day 19 -- Next Day)
Day 19
Heliopause Colony on Planet Vertumna, Medbay
“Solane...
Solane, are you really doing okay here? Every day I worry about you so much, and whether you are really getting better. You made so much progress already, but the last few days you’re ... quieter than usual. I haven’t heard much grunting from you anymore and I’m... too scared to try pinching you. What if you stay silent?
... Is Dr. Instance treating you well? She better be. Or else she’ll have... uh, have a talk with me. I heard she might try some new experimental treatments on you now. I find it weird that she acts so different now compared to before. She didn’t seem very interested in helping you as much until you opened your in front of her...
Can you do that again for me, please? Can you open your eyes, Solane?
...
You did... but your look is so empty. What is keeping you like this? I can’t imagine what you’re feeling, but it must be terrifying...
...
Ugh, you know, things still aren’t great for me either, even if it’s not comparable to what you’re going through. I’m not sure what I’m going to do. Every day it’s like there’s something else... I actually did get into an argument with Marz today and I feel terrible. Not just that we argued at all, but that it felt like we couldn’t seem to understand each other properly even though I know we can’t be that far apart in our thoughts.
She said she doesn’t like Lum either, and was working quietly and subtly on undermining him, that openly resisting him is a bad idea given all the soldiers he has. Well, maybe you can imagine how that went... Like, how can we afford to wait at this point?
Because some time after that, when I had returned to Geoponics and was overseeing the sowing of lettuce seeds, Chief Administrator Seeq showed up again, fortunately Tiki was hidden, so I didn’t have to worry about your vriki being abducted or something... anyway, he went on to tell me to expect big changes to what crops we are growing and everything else at geoponics, and to start wrapping up the *experiments* of the past years that he said we can no longer afford.
What, like stop even trying growing fruit trees? No longer even try to find native plants to safely cultivate? When we really need a more diverse food supply to be less vulnerable to blights and xeno attacks and all the other stressors like heat and waterlogging and... What do these people even know about plants? Not the first thing, and now they want to tell me what to grow? Am I just supposed to risk being responsible for a second *famine* to cater to their every whim? I can’t believe it... If only you could have been there with me, he probably wouldn’t have dared.
I ran out of the greenhouse to not get into another argument and to just calm down, trying to put my mind to other things than violence, looking around the colony. It was weirdly quiet, the first sun already almost set, and in the distance I saw some hooded figure at the gates, slowly approaching, reluctantly dragging their feet.
After a few moments I noticed some yellow around their neck, and I realized it was Dys, still wearing the same otherwise gray and black hoodie as always. Like he’s trying to be almost invisible in the dark.
I wasn’t sure what to say, or whether to say anything at all... we barely knew each other and he’s not exactly the talkative type. But I felt he must share a lot with both of us... things that we don’t see in anyone else, at least not anymore. It’s why I had wanted to ask him what he knows about this world and its native life that everyone else seems to want to ignore so much, remember?
I took some steps in his direction and saw him stop and look at me with some distrust and surprise in his eyes. Maybe he was put off by my smile. I couldn’t help it then, there was some strange feeling of hope in me coming up I hadn’t felt in a long time...
We stood for a bit some distance from each other, him standing right in the middle of the gate, the setting suns illuminating him from behind in red and yellow tones that seemed to make him glow in an aura I had never seen on anyone else before. You know, it was mildly unsettling. I felt like I was meeting a shadowy visitor from far away. Especially since his face was now entirely in the dark, his hood having been pulled over it.
Somehow I still imagined his eyes piercing me from the side, like a shy kind of curiosity.
I finally asked him: ‘What’s it like, outside the walls?’
And he just answered ‘Peaceful.’ and started moving again, slowly, not saying another word.
I saw him going towards the cafeteria and it’s when I realized I needed to eat, too. And I hoped to find him there again, but when I had arrived he was already nowhere to be seen. It’s like he had disappeared.
Maybe he had already gone back to his peaceful life. Was it really better outside the walls? I had never even considered that, but ... now I’m not sure anymore. I went to check if he had gone through the gate already, but it had been shut for the night and he was nowhere to be found.
Would you prefer a peaceful life, even if it might be more solitary and harder? Then again, it’s not like life for us hasn’t been that already anyway, so...
I might have to leave work early tomorrow, for the first time in months to see if I can find out where he spends his time. I’ll promise to be careful and then report back to you tomorrow, Solane.
Make sure you keep resting in the meantime, okay?”